Never Chase After Love
Aragorn tells you all about when enough is enough and when it's a good time to leave...
So my hooman is away on what she calls a „vacation“. I’m not quite sure what is the difference between her regular abandonment and this „va-ca-tion“… just a fancy word for the same crime which still remains abandonment no matter what you call it. Hoomans will just never learn that no fluff will ever cover the unforgivable truth, which is she left without me giving her prior permission. In any case, though, all I can hope for is that this separation will actually help improve the latest developments here.
You see, I’ve been feeling pretty invisible lately. And unlike Apricot, who actually wishes he was, I do not like that one bit. But… by now, I’ve learned, that if a couple of warnings and calls for attention won’t help, it’s better to leave hoomans be and ignore them in return.
Now, this is not as easily done as it is said. Each time, it does hurt a little. After all, who likes to be ignored? Certainly not me… But I’ve learned by now, the beauty of the ignoration mode. Which works every time.
Because when you do after a while, they realize you don’t seem to care. After a while, they realize they miss being bossed around - I mean, how could they not, they’re hopeless without some cat guidance and help! They don’t even know when to take a break without our guidance…
They realize they miss the attention they were receiving. They miss the love. They miss being needed and desired.
But… it takes a while and requires a little bit of patience, as you can imagine, cause hoomans are pretty slow to realize things.
So, each time my hooman‘s attention suddenly seems to slip away from the most important things – which obviously is me in the first place, I first try to make her aware of that. If she doesn’t react to a good number of attempts, or worse, if I am being shushed (I don’t even know where to begin on this…), it’s time to take a step back and let her feel, what it’s like to be ignored too.
And it works like magic. After all, I am one indispensable cat. And I am sure you are too (though a hooman).
Before she „wakes up“ to the present again, I go through several lonely days though. And I would lie if I said, I don’t mind them. It doesn’t feel great and I don’t see how I deserved it… and it CAN get to me, I tell you that.
But I also know there is no point ever in chasing after love. If there is no response for too long, or if it’s only ever you making the attention request, something’s not quite right and you should leave. Or… you leave and by doing that, you help them realize your value. And they come back.
Unfortunately, sometimes that’s the only way because hoomans especially have this strange habit of not realizing what they have until it’s gone. So our departure can be the most loving thing to do for both – us and them as well.
But my main point is, that you shouldn’t need to beg. It’s humiliating, and frankly, you’re worth more than that. If it’s meant to be, they realize your worth and come around with treats and sweet cuddles – in which case, it won’t hurt to remain a little distant and give them a bit of a hard time (I mean, come on… we earned that!). But if they do not come back, it means they don’t appreciate you and you should look for somewhere they’ll recognize your worth. Somewhere, where they’ll make sure you’ll never leave.
Short episodes with your loved ones like I described are okay, especially if your loved ones are hoomans, who get to forget to live in the present moment – after all, that’s why we cats are here and sharing our lives with them. To teach them and remind them (no matter how frustrating it sometimes gets). So that’s okay. But anything else… you know what to do!
Needed this advice right now 🐾